


you're gonna cry and, baby, that's alright (it's alright)

by supernxva23



Series: more than meets the eye (breathe, carrie, breathe) [4]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: I love Julie Molina, a direct continuation of the last part, carrie breaks down, carrie wilson redemption train, is it conceited to fall in love with your own fic?, julie's performance at the orpheum broke carrie because of reasons, who am i projecting onto this time place your bets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:26:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26672119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernxva23/pseuds/supernxva23
Summary: Carrie’s hands start to shake, they haven’t done that in a while.  Oh god, when did her eyes start watering?---direct continuation of Rough at the start, I'm not perfect (I'm falling apart, It's not worth it)
Relationships: Carrie Wilson & Julie Molina
Series: more than meets the eye (breathe, carrie, breathe) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1938343
Comments: 6
Kudos: 177





	you're gonna cry and, baby, that's alright (it's alright)

**Author's Note:**

> previously:  
> 'So, Carrie decides to do the last thing she thought she would ever do while staring at her ex- best friend. With the most sincerity she’s had in a long time, and it's been a long time,
> 
> she smiles.'

Carrie smiles. Julie’s brain finally gets a grip on her mouth, “uhh, hi?” she questions. Carrie’s smile falters a little, and her nerves start to kick in. “Can I… um, can I come in?” She asks. Julie’s face softens slightly as she hears the hesitation in Carrie’s voice, and looks back into the studio like someone is in there. She turns back and says, “Sure, I guess, come in.” Stepping aside to let Carrie in, she closes the door behind her. As Carrie looks around, she’s hit with memories. 

Her and Julie painting each other’s nails. Both girls huddled together on the couch watching The Little Mermaid on Julie’s laptop. Sitting in the studio, perfectly content with the comfortable silence that falls over them after they’d both had a bad day and didn’t need words to fill the space. Julie holding Carrie as she cried over her mom leaving. Carrie holding Julie as she was held when they hear that Julie’s mom was gone. Both of them trying to figure how to do their math homework, eventually asking Julie’s dad if he understands any of it enough to help. Dozing off as they listen to Julie’s mom play the piano with passion. 

“Carrie?”, Julie asks, taking Carrie out of her own head. “Sorry, I, -”, Carrie trails off. This is what she was scared of, not knowing how to even begin to apologize for the way she’s treated Julie. And Julie, human mood detector, takes hold of the conversation. “Do you wanna sit and talk, or just sit, or whatever?” Carrie nods and takes a seat on the couch, and she’s doesn’t know whether to feel relieved or embarrassed that Julie can still read her like a book after all this time apart. 

Carrie looks down at her lap, wringing her hand together while Julie sits on the coffee table, waiting patiently. ‘c’mon Carrie, you made it all the way here, just spit it out’, she thinks. She takes a breath, and almost chokes as she gets the words out. “I’m sorry.”, she says. exhaling slowly, like the words that held a grip on her finally let go. Gathering whatever courage she can grab onto, she looks Julie in the eye. Julie’s confused face returns. “Okay? Sorry for what exactly?”, she asks with her confusion turning more puzzled. 

Carrie’s hands start to shake, they haven’t done that in a while. Oh god, when did her eyes start watering? She tries to keep looking at Julie, but it _hurts._ “For everything. I’m sorry for pushing you away, for being so awful every time I saw you. For being so insensitive about your mom, I-”, a sob racks through her and tears run down her face as she desperately to get the rest of her thoughts out. 

“I’m not expecting anything from you , but I just need you to know that I am so sorry, Julie. You were my best friend and I threw that away for the dumbest reasons. I don’t like who I’ve been. I thought that if I stopped letting people know I care then I could save myself from getting hurt, but I was so wrong, and you’ll probably never want to speak to me again and I get that. Please just know that I’m sorry and I’m trying my best to be someone I don’t hate.” 

Carrie takes deep breaths as soon as she finishes her word vomit apology. Risking a look at Julie before she attempts to get up and leave, but as soon as she does she feels a hand resting on top of her fidgeting ones. Now she can’t bear to look a Julie. “Oh, Carrie, ”, Julie says, voice laced with emotion. “Look at me, please?” It takes all Carrie has left to bring her head up, but she manages it. “Carrie… yeah, you have been the worst, so, thank you, but, why apologize now? What changed?”, Julie asks. Carrie is shocked that Julie’s so level-headed about this, that it takes her a moment, but she finds the words a lot easier this time.

“I saw you, at the Orpheum, my dad dragged me along, and I tried really hard to not like your band, but you guys are amazing. I could hide it at your other performances, but when you talked about your mom and started playing that song, Julie, I _remember_ that song. It was the one you showed me, I mean just the beginning of it, but it was that song, wasn’t it?” she asks. Julie’s eyes widen, surprised that Carrie even remembers the few notes she played to her years ago, but she nods. 

Letting out a laugh with her next sob, Carrie continues, “As soon as I heard it, it’s like I was back on this couch, listening to you try to play it without messing up. God, Julie, you were so nervous to to show it to me, but you wanted to know what I thought of it. And hearing it again, it made me think of all the time we spent out here, and how much I missed you. It sounds insane, but Julie, you broke something in me and now all I can think about it how I became this hardened person and how I don’t want to be that anymore. It was you, Julie, It was you pouring your heart out with so much pain and passion and love that got me to come here. You make me wanna be better, and I _want_ to be.” Carrie has to stop. She hasn’t talked so much in one go in so long, her voice is hoarse already. So she goes quiet and leaves her confession out in the open for Julie to process. 

She looks down again, but immediately back up as soon as she hears a sniffle from Julie. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry Ju-”, she stops when Julie raises a hand, then uses it to wipe her tears away, but she isn’t sad she’s… smiling? “Geez Carrie, I haven’t heard you go on like that since we were 13.” She’s smiling through tears at Carrie and now it’s her turn to to look confused. Julie sees this and clears her throat. “I accept your apology, Care, you don’t know how much it means to me, and I missed you too. I’m happy you came here, it’s like a first step right? Trying to be better?”, she asks. 

Carrie nods, a soft smile making it’s way onto her face. “I don’t expect us to jump back into being how we used to be, but I hope that maybe, if you want to, we could get to know each other again? Or is that too much?” she asks, starting to second guess herself. Julie smiles, “I’d like that, Care, I’d like that a lot.” Another cry leaves Carrie, full of relief, and she asks Julie one more question.

“Would it be too soon to uh, ask for a hug?” Her smile widening, Julie stands, grabbing Carrie’s hands to bring her with. Julie brings her in and they hug. Carrie holds onto her like she might disappear, and grabs onto the back of Julies sweater, burying her head in the other’s shoulder. Julie does the same as they both laugh. Carrie had forgotten what a hug from Julie Molina felt like, and she’s hopes she’ll never have to again. A hug from Julie, well, it feels like home. There’s a feeling like they’re being watched, but Carrie doesn’t care.

She can breathe easier.

**Author's Note:**

> woof  
> drum roll please...  
> yes i was projecting onto julie this time around!! i've been a very forgiving person n my life, so i made julie that too, she thinks people are worthy of a second chance, is carrie?
> 
> i was the most anxious about posting this one kids  
> i've never been super comfortable writing dialogue so that's why the last few fics didn't have it.  
> i wrote carrie as more of an emotionally maturing 16 year old than i ever was so i hope it wasn't too out of the box.  
> yeah i moved kinda fast into forgiveness from julie, but don't worry, carrie's not gonna glide easily into being a better person, she'll make mistakes.  
> and we may see them in a future fic??
> 
> headcanon that julie played a part of Stand Tall for carrie back when it was in the beginning stage of being written is my new favorite thing, and THAT'S what broke carrie 
> 
> i'm in my feelings over my own fic dudes help
> 
> had better title name but then mgk had to drop ttmd so title is from Play This When I'm Gone by Machine Gun Kelly
> 
> thanks for all of you who have been reading and leaving such kind words, you have no idea how much it means.  
> as always, 
> 
> -rose/nova


End file.
